Here's to Us
by Shi-Toyu
Summary: After revealing his relationship with Loki to the wrong person, Tony and the god have been on run. When SHIELD finally catches up...things can only end badly. As he dies in his lover's arms, Tony has some things he'd like to say. FROSTIRON. ANGST. Major character death.


A/N: Let me start off by saying this is not going to be a happy fic. If you're looking for something that ends well, STOP READING NOW. This was inspired by the song "Here's to Us" by Halestorm, but the message and feel of the two pieces are completely different. Please enjoy.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Here's to Us

"Damn. I think I need a drink."

Tony tried to crack a grin, but his expression twisted into a grimace as blood bubbled up in this throat, making him cough harshly. The warm liquid cleared itself for the time being, streaking through his beard and down his cheek instead. The ground he lay on was hard and tiny pieces of gravel bit into his back uncomfortably. They didn't compare in the slightest to the three, inch-wide rods impaling him through his gut, though.

Loki knelt over him, pale hands quivering just over the billionaire's frame, as if afraid to touch him. The skin on his face was taught with worry. Even if Tony didn't already know how bad of shape he was in, he'd be able to tell by the haunted look in the god's eyes.

"I-I…I can't heal you…The damage is...too severe."

Tony started to chuckle, but it quickly turned into a grimace of pain. He brought his own shaking hands up to grasp Loki's, holding on to them as tightly as he could. There may not be time to help himself, but he'd be damned if he didn't leave this world making sure Loki was okay.

"Hey there, Reindeer Games," another wet cough wracked his frame, "d-don't go trying to blame yourself over this one. I think we all know who the idiot that got us ousted to Fury is."

It was true, in a way, that Tony only had himself to blame. He'd hidden his relationship with Loki until he could prove that the other had been under the influence of mind control during the invasion, that Loki had done more for their planet by attacking it than the Avengers had done in defending it. He'd waited until he had proof that Thanos was out there, that he had sought the Tesseract, and that Loki had engineered the whole plot to keep it from him. He still didn't think that was a bad move, he just probably should have taken the information to Cap or Bruce, instead of Natasha.

The spy had tricked him, convinced him not to mention anything while she saw to SHIELD…Instead, she'd ratted them out and tried to stick him in the neck with a needle…again. It was only Loki's quick reflexes that kept the genius out of a maximum security SHIELD cell. He and the god had been on the run ever since, the past four months.

"I will rip her heart from her chest and keep her alive just long enough so she can watch me eat it."

Loki's jaw clenched tight as he visibly fought to hold onto his anger, anything to keep the more desperate, terrifying emotions at bay. The bodies of SHIELD agents lay around them. Loki's initial reaction to Tony's impalement hadn't been pretty to say the least.

The genius struggled to raise a hand high enough to pat Loki's cheek. The hand was covered in blood that immediately got all over the god, making him look even more gaunt and terrifying than before.

"No…Don't…I don't…think she meant for it to end this way."

And, really, Tony didn't. Natasha was many things, though his favorite teammate was definitely _not_ on that list at the moment, but she had never purposefully endangered a member of the team. She was intensely loyal to SHIELD after her time in the Red Room and he knew she struggled with balancing that against some of the things they did.

"P-promise me, Lokes…I don't want you hurting her…any of them…The team-"

"Shh…Do not waste your breath on begging. If it is your wish, I will be sure they are unharmed."

Tony felt at least some of the tension leave his body in a rush. Despite the common misconception that he was the God of Lies, mythologically inaccurate, Loki never went back on his word. If he said things would be a certain way, he would be damn sure to make it happen. With his team safe, Tony settled back against the hard concrete, letting his hand drop back to grasp Loki's.

A few moments of silence passed as he watched his lover above him. Loki's gaze kept wandering down to stare forlornly at the rods impaling the mortal, puncturing organs and generally making a mess of the man Loki wasn't ready to let go off. Tony tapped the back of his hand to get his attention.

"Hey…my eyes are…up here."

His voice was starting to come out as a wheeze. Loki's gaze immediately shot up to meet his, worry and desperation making him look so much older than he normally did. Tony knew his death would be hard on the god, impossibly so. He just hoped the other didn't suffer too terribly for it.

"You know, we've…had a pretty good run."

A pained groan cut him off as one of the rods in his abdomen shifted. Just them sitting there was agonizing, but when they _moved_…He tried to focus back in on Loki's face, give himself something to ground him.

"I should not have gotten you involved in all this. It was not your fight."

Regret laced Loki's words, but Tony waved them off, albeit weakly. He was delayed from responding by another coughing fit, though. His chin was streaked in blood now and the taste was heavy in his mouth. It took him several minutes before he could catch his breath. Hadn't he read somewhere that victims of disembowelment could sometimes survive for hours afterwards? God, he hoped he didn't last that long.

"You…were in it…Of course…it was my fight."

Tony didn't want Loki to ever think he hadn't wanted this, that he regretted it for even a moment. He was Tony Stark, dammit, and he never did anything he didn't want to. If he had the chance to do it again, knowing how it would end, he would in a heartbeat. He hadn't expected to fall in love with the God of Mischief and Fire, but he sure as Hell had.

"I never wanted to see you hurt, but it seems everything I touch in this life is destroyed…" Loki huffed a laugh that sounded more unstable than amused. "You mortals used to say those who went insane or who caused horrible accidents had been touched by me."

Tony snorted, shortly following it up with a grimace. You'd think he would have an easier time not forgetting about the _fucking poles sticking through his gut_.

"They used to call me…The Merchant of Death…" He paused for a minute to catch his breath before squeezing Loki's hand that he still clutched in his own. "We've…had this conversation before…I really…don't want to…have it again."

It was getting harder to talk, the blood in his throat bubbling with each gasped breath. Darkness had begun to encroach upon the edges of his vision. He tried blinking it away, but it remained stubbornly there…It probably wasn't going to be long now. He really wished he didn't have to leave Loki like this. He had to make sure Loki knew how good he truly was, how much Tony loved him.

"I wish," he had to stop to clear his throat, "I wish I could have…known you earlier…spent more time with you…This thing we have…" he gestured weakly between them, strength fading fast, "It's been the best time of my life…And I…I mean that…Loki-"

Another coughing fit wracked his frame, this one more violent than the ones before. He felt yet another something tear in his abdomen and Loki clutched his hands. He thought he might have heard engines somewhere in the distance and he could see the wind whipping Loki's hair around like a whirlwind. If SHIELD reinforcements had arrived, he needed to get this out quick. Loki needed to escape. He struggled desperately to get his body to cooperate, just for a little bit longer.

"Loki, I love you…More than I ever got the chance to say…I'm so sorry…"

The god was just shaking his head back and forth, his entire frame trembling. Tony could see the moisture in his eyes, but Loki did not let it stain his cheeks…He had always been strong.

"I love you, too, Anthony. You have nothing to apologize for. You made me happy for the first time since I was a child and I will always hold you in my heart."

A crooked smile appeared on Tony's face, his signature look marred by the blood into something grotesque. He lifted one hand as if holding an imaginary drink and tipped it in Loki's direction.

"Well, love, here's to us."

"_TONY!_"

Both men were jerked out of their own little world as the Avengers raced towards them, not a one of them besides Natasha in uniform. Horror and pain shone from their faces as they caught sight of their fallen comrade, though he hadn't been such for several months. Loki seemed to curl around him protectively, snarling like a beast from nightmare, but the Avengers hardly noticed.

Natasha pressed her way to the front, nearly falling to her knees upon seeing how irreversible the damage was. Tears were falling down her face and, maybe it was because he was so close to death, Tony thought they might actually be real.

"Oh, God, Tony, I'm so sorry! I didn't know! I swear I didn't know! I ran to the team as soon as I heard about Fury's kill order on you…I'm so sorry…"

Warmth spread through Tony's frame as Loki pulled him just a bit tighter; he could barely even feel his stomach wounds anymore. He was glad to know that his teammate hadn't actually betrayed him, in the end, that her loyalty to the team outweighed her loyalty to SHIELD. Fury didn't deserve her.

He wanted to tell her he forgave her, that it was alright. He wanted to tell Bruce not to let this drive him to isolation, and to tell Cap not to beat himself up too bad. He wanted to tell Clint not to hold so many grudges, he'd go grey faster.

But he didn't have the energy to say all that. He had to prioritize and, really, there was only one thing he needed to say above all else. He pressed his face into Loki's chest and inhaled his scent, careful not to breathe too deep and start another bout of coughing. He felt cool lips brush against his temple and smiled, ignoring the sudden splash of moisture that fell from above.

"…love you…Lo…ki…"

The darkness closed in finally, obliterating everything else. The last thing Tony heard was Loki's anguished howl as his lover died, but it didn't end with his life.

Loki did not take Tony's corpse for a traditional Asgardian burial. He cared little for their customs anymore. He did, however, take the still-glowing Arc Reactor from the inventor's chest. He carried it with him as he laid waste to SHIELD, destroying everything he touched in a kind of sick and twisted irony. He carried it with him when he disappeared to the far reaches of Yggdrasil, where no one would find and disturb him. He cradled it as he mourned the loss of his lover, ignoring everything, even the passage of time.

The day the light of the Arc Reactor finally died, in Loki's arms just as its creator had, the God of Chaos accepted his final role. Still carrying his most precious treasure, Loki went to war against everything and everyone. He brought Ragnarok to the steps of the Nine Realms and swept through like a plague of death.

When the inevitable finally happened and Loki fell to the sword of Heimdall, he lay in the dirt of the battle field and watched the device still clutched in his hand. The rest of the universe fell away as he gently curled his fingers around it, clutching it tightly, feeling its familiar edges. He liked to think, in those final moments, that he saw a glimmer of blue light from deep inside. It made him smile because he knew…Tony had come to greet him.

A/N: Aaaaaand that's it. Please let me know what you thought. My heart ached while writing this.


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